a quote of great insight

hindsight is a beautiful thing, especially cause it's 20/20.

oh, so true are these words. they doth ring with the power and pain of a spike in the rocks.

silly friends of mine.....

i came home from school today to find one of my friend's driver's liscence sitting on the table. kinda wierd, huh? well then i thought about it, and this friend hadn't been to my house since the middle of last june, which means it has been here for over 3 months. but then i thougth about who it was and i wasn't supprised. so being the nice friend that i am, i called sarah morehead and told her that my mom had found her liscence in one of our couches. (she wasn't there so i left a message) but id kinda made me wonder if she really even realized that we had it. silly girl

oh, and my mom got me a new shirt for school, and for some reason it made me really happy and thankful. much more so than i usually am. i was kinda discouraged bout some stuff that i'd realized that i needed to change in my life. but its gettin better. it's amazing how comforting it can eb to read the Word of God. if any of you all are feelin down and out and like God has turned His back on you, read Lamentations 3. its a really good chapter and its really encouraging. ok. yoshi out.

a dreary day

so does this color remind you of rain? it does for me. i had "rainin on sunday" stuck in my head all day long. its a good song. well, i was gonna go canoeing, but the guy i was going with bakced out cuase the rain and some family thing (don't worry, i forgive him). i still woulda been fun to go in the rain. maybe we'll go next week. so i stayed home and cleaned my room and got bored and played zelda and 007 and got bored and talked with my dad and my mom and my dog and the voices in my head. and then i was still bored. so i wrote a peom about the caramel apples my daddy made, and i gave it a very original title:

A poem about caramel apples
caramel apples are yummy
they fill my heart with glee
except when i bite into them
and the caramel sticks onto my teeth
they're a memorable treat for the autumn time
so goey delicious and crunchy
especially with crushed peanuts
they're quite a delectable munchy.
el end

i think i was sweating all day long

so i got up at 9:30. it was nice to sleep in. then i fertilized the front field for 4 1/2 hours. and i got a little sunburned but thats fine. and the whole time i was out there, i was sweating. when i got done i took a shower - i smelled pretty bad. then my dad came home and we went to the ymca and played raquetball (a completely awesome sport) for and hour. and i sweated the whole time. then i came home and took another shower to get the sweat off before youth group. so i went to youth group and we played this complicated game of tag all over the church and shool. and i was sweating the whole time doing that. so i came home and took another shower so i can just get up and go to church in the morning.

heres an interesting fact about sweat: sweat and urine both come from the excretory system.

and now i am bored again. the mind is wandering, plotting new schemes and better pranks and tricks.....beware.

Yay! i cooked again!

and i felt like changing the color of the font for the heck of it. hoohah. but anyway, yeah. i made a beef por roast with carrots and potatos and i made beef soup with farina dumplings. both of which are very yummy. (why is the first 'h' in which? i wish it wasn't there) and i did the whole thing withour chopping any of my fingers off. woopee! i can't wait for dinner tomorrow. it will be very yumidee. at least i know that i'm ready for one apsect of college life - i won't starve, that's for sure. but then, maybe a little startving wouldn't be bad for me. i mean, hey - the ancient hebrews fasted all the time and they lived quiet a while. of course, i doubt i would be able to fast for any longer than 2 hours. anyway, i figured out what i needed to do to get past the part of zelda that i am stuck on. that makes me kinda happy. i still have to stay up for a while to let the soup finish cooking, though. in case anyone reads this and wants to comment back in...say....30min-45. course, you can comment whenever you do so please. i was meaning like having one of those tiringly slow converstations. ok. back to zelda. bye now.

takin my life away - default

a good song by a good band.

They reach beside
A leech to find
I dreamed of this so long
This used to feel so strong

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away
No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

Deep down it hides
Making life a grind
I dreamed of this so long
This used to feel so strong

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away
No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

Deep down it hides

Now I wait
Wish these thoughts would go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away
No I don't hate
But these thoughts won't go away
I hope I dream of you
Cause it's taking my life away

if i was a greek god

due to problems being caused by the picture and content of a previous post, i removed it.

sorry if you liked it.

lookin for a fight

do you ever get that desire to just smash something or beat the living (or dead) crap out of something? or maybe to just scream your head off at someone. or let them know what you really think of them. maybe you are just waiting for someone to do something to you so you have a reason to slug them. hard. guys probably understand this a lot more than girls do. it is such an easier way of dealing with the problem. mind you, i didn't say solving the problem. but really, we don't care. eventually everybody gets pushed to their limit. or way over it, in the case of some people. and the hardest part is knowing that if you were somewhere else, you wouldn't have these problems. or you could actually do something to help yourself. that is why kids play violent games or start getting in street fights. they hold it all in for so long and then they decide to get rid of the anger. and what happens? they are told that they are such bad kids. they get in trouble by their school, church, parents, whatever. it doesn't matter how much the hold it in. but some might say "that is what is expected. they need to have respect". yeah, shut up. don't talk unless you actually have something worth-while to say. many times people expect to be able to do whatever they want those under them, but if those under them do it back, they have just committed the evilest deed and become the vilest of sinners. and the whole respect thing? i goes both ways. yeah, teacher to student and student to teacher. both owe each other respect. yet that's not what is taught. if we....aaarrrggggggggggggg. i better just shut up know. before names start being dropped. and i haven't even started about authority shoving their noses where they don't belong (ie. trenton and mike - that made me so mad).

disclaimer: there are those who will automatically asume that i am having problems with authority or something like that. no. i am not. this is just something that i have been seeing more and more as time goes by. maybe i and just realizing cold hard truths of life. or maybe someone actually has the guts to start calling people down for this crap. yeah. thats what i said. crap. aarrrrrrggggg!!!!!!!

i'm a chef

well, i got home from the soccer game (we played like crap and we still won - that makes me mad) and my dad asked me if i wanted to do any cooking. i was bored and mad and other things, so i said yeah. hey - it's kinda relaxing and i needed to cool off. so he had me make beef goulosh. i think that's how it's spelled. but for those of you who don't know what it is, it's like a brown gravy with chunks of beef in it. its really good. and i did a good job making it. all by myself, too. both my parents said it was really good. hah. i guess i have a hidden talent. there was only one thing that i messed up on - i sliced my finger really bad. really bad. in about a minute, i would guess i lost about a shotglass full of blood. i got my thumb. it was right across the top, about 1cm deep. it's a big flap of skin a little bigger than my pinky fingernail. it didn't hurt too bad, but after i superglued it (with my dads help, despite his laughter and sarcastic remarks) it kinda started to hurt. since my dad is never one to underdo things, he also got me a bandage to put over it. like, one that people put over their knee. and the whole time, he was telling me about how he and one of his buddies at work had just done the same thing at work a couple of days ago. i hope i get a scar. that would be cool. and at least i don't have to practice the piano for a while.

don't worry. the goulosh doesn't taste like blood at all. i got most of the blood out of it....i think....there might be a few chunks of flesh in there though. oh well. nobody will know. they'll think it's just a chewy noodle. hehehehehehe.

the worlds shortest fiary tale

once upon a time, there was a guy who said to a girl "will you marry me?" and she said "NO!' so he lived happily ever after going fishing, hunting, playing sports, drinking beer, and farting whenever he felt like it.

the end.

i thought it was funny.

Blech, and an oasis in this dessert

school is boring. they keep changin the rules without giving a good reason why. i have lots of homework. my car needs gas. i'm tired. i have a headache. i puked in practice. coach made us do countdowns. my leg hurts. i worked out. i am still tired. i want to skip a day of school to sleep. jared is still my favorite prank buddy. we got herpies to fall over even though she wont admit it. i don't want to do my homework. i want to sleep. or sit in a hot tub. or lay in a hammock on a boat on the ocean. or sleep. or get a massage. had a spanish test today. think i did well. hope i did well. must go pack to typing stupid essay for stupid english class.

I would not trade anything in the world for a single one of the meories i have of my dad and all of the wonderful and awesome things i have learned from him. he is the source of almost all of my encouragement and my will to go on. he can change my opinion with out me realizing it. he can confront me and help me to change my view while encouraging me at the same time. he is an excellent example of God's kind of man. without him, i would hate to see what i would be.

My very busy weekend....

here it is..
thursday night, i wnet ot the battle thingy my youth group was doing. wasn't really hoping for much, thought it would be pretty stupid. i was wrong. it was friggin awesome.we all got totally covered in mud from head to toe, and i mean totally. (chaffage..ow ow ow) then i went home and did homework till 11. i had to be at school at 6:45 the next morning which sucked. i got there on time and helped get stuff ready for the senior 9-11 lunch and car wash. barely got to homeroom, but i at least got mostly dressed. my shoes weren't in dress code, but then seniors didn't have to go through dress check, so i got off. mr grass asked me if i had other shoes, i told him yes, and he told me just to make sure i changed by the time i had to be a host. so i got to wear my indoor soccer shoes all day with suit pants. booyah! then i had to host the lunch. i couldn't get the top button of my shirt to button. when i finally did, after 5 min of strugglin, i started getting dizzy cuase it was so tight. after the lunch (the fmt sounded really good) which wasn't all that good, other than the desert, i unbuttoned it. that was probably the biggest blood rush i have ever had. wow - it almost sat me down. then after everything got cleaned up, we left for out soccer game. the team was informed by pastor leffew that we needed to put pants on till the game b/c our shorts were immodest. no joke. whatever. then the girls came and watched part of our game. kinda self-defeating. we lost 1-3, but we played a good game (if only the offense would shoot the freakin ball at the goal, but away from the goalie) then i sat on the bus with luke, alex b, and miguel. miguel is one hilarious mexican. the ride home sucked, couldn't sleep, couldn't study, and pastor leffew does not believe in giving his passnegers a smooth and comfortable ride. sat, got up and met isaac at church and took him over to purdue cause we had to park. never doing that again. not worth the time or annoyance. (or gas to purdue and back) came home slept, showered, and went to the ymca to play raquetball with my dad. we played 4 games - he won 2, i won 2. i had better games that he did though. of course. and bradley, just so you know, i beat him 15-0 the last game. eat that, you proud know-it-all. that means i'm better that you now and i will beat you when you come visit. anyway, dad said i could order some more airsoft guns today. the only problem is they are both asleep. and i don't have a credit card. maybe i could make a bomb while i wait.....

Apathy - the poison we love

here i go. apathy is the one thing i know of that will always compound on itself if never confronted. you start off by saying its not that big of a deal. than you do it again to prove to yourself that its not that big of a deal. after that you just do what you want cuase you know you can convince yourself that its ok. it works with anything - cheating, lying, stealing, being lazy, having sex, drinking, lookin at porn, anything. eventually, you start you realize that you don't care. and you don't care that you dont' care. our apathy almost become a warm blanket for us to hide in when things come our way.

i started to care. and i'm definately p.o.ed at the way my school is going and the choices so many people i know are making. and listen up now - these are all people who know exactly what they are doing. they know the consequences. they know it is wrong. and they think its funny. or they say they don't care because they like doing whatever it is. my Savior did not die on a cross so that you people could profane His Name by claiming His blessings and living like you hate Him. He did not give up His throne in heaven to come here so you could walk all over what He has done for you. to those you think there sin is funny - Jesus Christ suffered the worst imaginable torture and death ever for you. is that funny? does the image of a barely recognizable man, willingly hanging on a cross, knowing what you do - does that seem funny to you? to those who don't care - people just like you are burning in hell right now because they made the same choices. but you don't care if you break the hearts of your parents and your friends. you are having fun. i hope your fun stops satisfying you. because you are ruining my school.

this is my ultimatum - either start living as if you have been redeemed from hell by a Loving and All-Powerful God who can help you change anything, or stop calling yourself a Christian and get out of my school. i have watched and stood aside for too long now. i am not going to let my school be drug down like this, so help me God.

i wish i could scream this whole thing in homeroom...

one of those days...

do you ever have those days where you just want to scream or yell at everybody around you? do you ever want to get in a fight just to let off some steam? or maybe you just wanna make somebody really mad.....that describes my day, along with some other things. stuff just doesn't make sense. i'm watching things happen around me, but i can't do anything about it. its like i'm in a separate place watching the world through a tv screen. its depressing. people always complain about there stupid problems, but they don't really care about other peoples junk. nobody seems to really care at my school anymore. my school is going down the tubes. seriously. and for once in my life, its finally starting to bother me. friends are making stupid mistakes that will eventually wreck their lives. and they don't care. the people around us that are actually struggling don't trust anyone enough to try to get help because out school praised narcs and people who rat on them. i wan to keep going, but i can't. i need to collect my thoughts about this and write agian later.

"some days just arent' worth living...." - a line from a very good song

uhg....

well, lets see....we finally won a soccer game last night, even though we still played like crap. we shot some arisoft guns after the game, but then mine broke. oops. actuallty, trenton broke it, but he won't admit it. then we (me and julio) went to say hi to lillian. she didn't know though. we called her from my car in her front yard and freaked her out. then we went an talked to her for about 1/2 hour or so. we had fun. we made her think many different things that weren't all lies, but weren't all truths. anyway. then we went home (good times, man - yeah, not saying nuthin). we ate dinner and went to bed. seriously. at 10:oo. that has to be the earliest i have ever went to bed when i've had a freind over. then we got up, ate breakfast, said hi to joel when he got here, and worked for 11 hours today. i got sunburnt. and a bit of a tan that will get better with time. after we worked, my beloved and totally awesome daddy cooked each of us our very own steak. eh really knows you to use a grill. they were so good (and we were so hungry). then they went home. and i am tired.

"now i lay me down to sleep........zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................."