Thursday, July 26, 2007

scared vs sobered...

my mom had a stroke on tues night. thanks be to God, she is fine now and the docs say there was no damage from it.
looking back on that experience is pretty tough. to be honest, after everyone left that night and i was alone again, i realized that i was scared "poo"less. i had seen the look, the emts and paramedics and first responders and all that stuff, i'd watched em put her walk out and get on the gurney and them drive her off...and now i was alone and it all sank in. not a single goofy or stupid thing was going through my head to say. i couldn't think of anything to make me laugh. nothing seemed fun. there was no light in my eyes. as i lay there trying to get some sleep for the day ahead, it hit me. its so fast, so unpredictable....so final. she could've been gone for good that night. or it could have been my dad. or my bro. or somebody else i cared about. she was able to walk and talk somewhat shortly after it happened, but it could have been final. or she could've been parylized. or unable to speak. or something else. she was lucky. we all were lucky. God's plan only entailed what happened, and for that i'm very thankful.
to be honest, "why?" never crossed my mind. maybe it was just cause i was in shock. or because i knew i wouldn't be able to figure it out. my dreams last night deff expressed how i have felt for the last 2 days. i'm just glad taht she's gonna be ok, and that God has something in this. i don't know what it is, and i'm not scrutinizing everything trying to find what it is. i know when He's ready for me to see it, i'll see it.

oh...and the next time i see some kid or teenager backtalk their mother...i'm gonna smack the fire outa them. you only get one mom. and she's worth way more than you'll ever know.

5 Comments:

Blogger Nata said...

praise God for second chances!! praise God for moms!! praise God for peaceful minds during trying times. i'm praying for you guys.

Saturday, July 28, 2007 5:47:00 PM  
Blogger jonhaynie said...

Nice post. And how true that a mom is worth so much more than we'll ever know until we're older, or come close to losing her.

Praying she gets completely recovered soon.

Sunday, July 29, 2007 1:39:00 PM  
Blogger Ann-Marie said...

I know what you mean about people back talking their parents...when ever I see that or think about being rude myself I just think about one of my best friends...she lost her dad when she was 13 and she would give anything to have him back...I'm glad your mom is going to be ok...she really is an awesome lady

Thursday, August 09, 2007 10:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Def Jeff, Jeff, Sage... the dude you used to know said...

hey man, I dont know if you'll ever get this or not, but Ive got some stuff to talk about. Its crazy how life can be so full of irony. Remember our last convo? Well, you were right. Im so diff from what i used to be... I grew up, smelled the roses. email me sometime man, samurai.sage@yahoo.com

Thursday, May 01, 2008 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger Mr. Harmless said...

I am glad that your mom is OK. And... I could see you smacking the fire out of some kid...


Just remember... Be patient. Even with the rebellious. (I Thess. 5:14)

Sunday, September 14, 2008 9:51:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home